Sunday, January 23, 2011

Let this be the last time...

Man this has been a shitty few months. I started binge eating again. I don't think I realized how bad I was before I got abstinent from food until I'd quit for 18 months and then started doing it again. Dear Lord. I can throw back 3-4 thousand calories at a time. Soooo bad for you.

 So starting tomorrow, I have to resume my previous food plan. It's a good one. It works. What doesn't work is my mind, and I have to get back into my treatment plan so that I can get back abstinent.

I'm really super grateful though, because I didn't get back to 190 (150, but that's bad enough since I was 130 before). And I'm also grateful that I have a few people that aren't letting me go. They aren't running away or ignoring me. They're listening every time I tell them I'm sick of behaving like an addict and they're telling me every time exactly how to stop doing it.

So here I go... I'm leaving this blog and going to do some work so that I won't keep doing this to myself.

(and I'm sooo ready to stop thinking about food.)

Like I said in the header.. The Real Me.. (whether you like it or not.) I know.. it's not glamorous. :)